E on The Q When Taylor Swift Is In A Catfight

First things first...I have an exclusive look at Chris Soules on Dancing with The Stars tonight...
 
Let me take my earrings out...Taylor Swift was in a cat fight over the weekend...because Dr Meredith Gray...you know her big white and gray cat...scratched the mess out of her thigh...legit...if she hadn't said it was her cat...I would have though that Taylor was involved in a drunken knife fight because this thing is massive.  Good thing Tay Tay's legs are insured for $40 Million...
 
Nick Cannon broke a record...for world's largest tattoo...at least I think so because dang he has a massive back tattoo now.  Where it once said Mariah he got it covered up over the weekend with a tribute to his kids and religion but seriously...this thing starts on the neck and hits butt crack...let this be a lesson to all y'all out there...never get someone else's name tattooed on your body because it will be a beast to cover it up
 
How did Justin Bieber celebrate getting roasted...by hopping on a jet and flying to Vegas...where he got hammered drunk in a club, took a microphone...jumped on stage and sang Happy Birthday to himself...even though it was two weeks ago...oh and he was partying with Kris Jenner.  Any cool points he won by filming with Comedy Central over the weekend...are gone...
 
Jennifer Anniston crashed into by drunk driver...because a man literally smashed his car into her yard on Saturday.  So no one knows if he knew it was Jennifer Anniston's house or not...but dude took out her gate, some ferns, a lot of grass and then tried to tell police it was not him...but he was caught on camera.  Let this be a lesson Jen...next time you buy a house...spring for a moat.