So...last night's episode still has me reeling and totally over this season.  So to start at the beginning...Ian went complete cray on Katelyn and I am so disappointed.  Because honestly...part of what he was saying, made sense.  That she was only there just to make out with dudes on tv and is shallow.  Which, come on...that's true...but then he began campaigning to be the next Bachelor and talking about how deep he is and turned into a complete tool bag.  In that moment, I decided his soulmate is Kelsy from last season.

(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @jam12869)

So Ian got to stepping and of course Katelyn ran to the guys for pity over how poorly she had been treated...but whatever.  She then obviously had important business to get down to...sending other dudes home.  She let three of the guys go...two whose names I can't even remember because they were barely ever show and then the Sexy Welder...who may or may not have been trying to hide tears the entire time.  She obviously wasn't into him...but I'm pretty sure he would have married her on the spot and turned into something creepy like a toe sucker. 

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)

So this is where the episode gets real...Katelyn chose Nick for the solo...which obviously made the other guys mad.  They spent the day running around Dublin Ireland (which BTW...so disappointed, no Dublin "Doubling" jokes were made) and then making out and rubbing each other's bodies in a historic Catholic church.  They wisened up over how offensive they were being and that the fire in their pants could cause the church to catch on fire...so, they went back to Kaitlyn's hotel, where they got freaky deaky.

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(Photo courtesy of Liz Luedeman's TV)

This is where it got weird...Katelyn remembered to take off her pants...but not her mic and so we had the most awkward 30 seconds in Bachelorette history of heavy breathing and sexy talk...please excuse me while I go throw up.

So in an attempt to get over the awkwardness that was sexy time with one of her suiters...Katelyn went on the group date with crumpled hair and pretended to be dead.  No really...Katelyn had the men gather around her in her coffin and pay her respects.  Now most of the guys turned it into a joke...except for Ben Z...who lost his mother.  In that moment we realize what an insensitive move this date was because he asked all the other dudes to leave so he could have a moment with Katelyn and he was borderline man tears. 

(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @Yahoo)

After this she splits up the guys one on one and she Shawn share emotional moments and he shows off pics of his family...they of course suck face and she sends him out.  She also shares some time with Jarod where he talks about his favorite thing about Katelyn is her honesty...bc he hasn't gotten the memo yet that Katelyn got down and dirty with Nick.  Jarod must have made her feel so bad about her secret lie though, that she gave him the rose from the group date and invited him to join her in a chuch at a Cranberries concert...which is weird...but she decided to make out in a church...again.

Photo published for Kaitlyn gets lucky in Ireland and Shawn starts to unravel on 'The...

(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)

The episode of course left us haning because Shawn freaked out that he was not chosen for the solo date, so he went to Katelyn's hotel room and surprised her and said they need to talk.  Katelyn starts freaking out bc she thinks he knows that she did the nasty with Nick and now we have to wait until next week to see what happens.

 

 

 

Bachelorette Nation...last night got juicy and involved a sexy welder digging himself into a hole, a Mariachi band challenge and one of the dudes finally calling Katelyn a hussy.

 

But...we have to start at the beginning! Three dudes went home...but they were the boring guys who are not even worth mentioning.  The only interesting thing about them...is that they got sent home standing in a professional Baseball Stadium

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(Photo Courtesty of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

Now that those losers went home, all eyes were on Nick.  Guys started going into paranoid dude mode and were a second short of starting to pee around the hotel room to mark their territory...and what better way to show how much better they are...than to go to Texas and sing in a mariachi band.

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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

In yet another questionable date, Katelyn took the guys to see a Mariachi Band and let them know that they need to verbalize their love for her through music.  This thing was worse than the bad auditions from American Idol...none of the dudes can sing.  Even the self proclaimed musician Ian (which we will get to the toolbag again later) sounded like he was murdering a cat in his throat.  The only one that even stood out was...Nick.  Who everyone already hates.  And the only reason he did is because he turned his song into a run of vulgar jokes.

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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)

Now everyone is all sorts of fired up on Nick...especially Josh (The sexy Welder) he cannot seem to shake how much he hates Nick or get it together.  So he talks to Katelyn...big mistake.  Instead of listening to his fears, she starts freaking out about being lied to.  Instead of embracing the one guy being honest, bc all the dudes hate Nick, she starts freaking out and brings him back to all the other guys and puts him on the spot where all the guys wuss out and don't tell Katelyn that Josh was being honest.  So those dudes basically all suck now.

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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)

Poor Sexy Welder knew he had messed up big time, so in a moment to try to redeem himself...he asks Katelyn to cut his hair because she said she went to cosmetology school and now I am questioning who the real liar is because she jacked his hair up majorly.

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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)

After that awkward monster of a Date...praise ABC...because they finally bring out the hottie.  Noah Calhoun look alike Shawn won a solo date with Katelyn and she is obviously crazy whoa into him because she starts talking about all the things she likes about him...including his smell.  You kinda got the vibe she is an armpit sniffer when cameras aren't rolling...you know what I'm talking about, Molly Shannon SUPERSTAR kinda pit sniffer.

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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

So of course Katelyn had an awesome time on her date because Shawn is an all around cool dude.  There was a lot of tonsil hockey and deep eye gazes.  Now you can tell Katelyn is digging Shawn because when he backed up the Sexy Welder's feelings on Nick, Katelyn agreed with him, which was a complete 180 from the night before.

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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

This where the episode got juicy.  It turns out when you take a cocky guy that is used to having women fawn over him and show him minimal attention...he cracks...and that is what happened to Ian.  He went off in a solo interview talking about what a catch he is and bragging on his education, looks and took credit for everything in the universe short of hanging the moon.  He even decided to state that his ex GF was hotter than Katelyn...and on the reals...it was HILARIOUS!!  but...I know as a Bachelorette watcher it was edited in a way that I should have been booing him...but whatever.

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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)

So the episode ends with Ian pulling Katelyn aside and telling her "how it is" and that he feels like she is only there to make out with men and hook up on national tv and not to find love and the camera caught her with the biotchiest face ever...and boom, they left us hanging until next week.  SO GOOD!

https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CHliyLeUkAA0EgR.mp4

(video courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

 

 

 

 

Bachelorette land, last night was bananas and we finally got to really see our first look at Kaitlyn as Bachelorette.  She was acting like she had been named a royal queen...

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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

 
She started off with the first group date where she literally had the guys beat the junk out of each other in a boxing ring for her affection...it went something like this
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(Photo Courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)
 
Uhh...I am so manly...
 
No, I am more manly...
 
and then they like punched each other until one passed out and had to go to the hospital.
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(Photo Courtesy of twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)
 
On the actual date, Kaitlyn got to smooching basically every guy there...so there was a lot of this noise 
 
Muah
 
The rose of the night of course went to the guy who beat the most guys up in the ring...Ben Z.
 
Then there was the solo date where Kaitlyn took one of the guys to have underwater portraits made.  It was supposed to be a sweet moment...but just reminded me of the sinking scene in titanic and will make for some very awkward pictures to display when these two dont work out...
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 (Photo Courtesy of Twitter.com @Bacheloretteabc)
And then on the next group date Kaitlyn enlisted the help of the manliest person she knew...Amy Schumer, to help the guys do stand up...and that is saying a lot because she just hung out with Laila Ali...
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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)
 
This is where we learned who the toolbag of the season is...JJ.  So homeboy decides to tell Amy that life is hard because he is smarter than 90% of the people he encounters..
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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)
 
after horrible stand up jokes, we have the first cocktail party on Koopah approached Kaitlyn because he thinks that he is there to fulfill a racial quota...and the look on Kaitlyn's face was pure shock and you can immediately see he knew he made a mistake, so he was all...
Kupah
 
you know, I was just making sure your intentions, were aligned with my intentions, so that intentions could be good intentions and I think this is a great story to start our romance off...to which she Kaitlyn was like Ummm...you gots to go. 
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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)
 
Oh...and then for some reason we follow Britt's love life at the end of the episode...didn't we vote to send her home?!? 
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(Photo courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

First things first, lets start with how weird it is that There are two Bachelorettes this season.  It felt like the dudes were trying to order Fro-Yo when deciding which girl to vote for..."Yo...I'll take Kaitlyn in a waffle cone...oh no, let me get the Britt with the Sprinkles"

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)

but of course Chris Harrison was chomping at the bit over the whole thing.  The only words he said more than "The biggest Twist in Bachelorette History" was "Have you seen my new book?"

 

The girls were so tense...obviously...Kaitlyn looked like she was sucking a lemon and was throwing shade at Britt then entire time but wrapping it up in compliments while Britt cried about how beautiful she is.

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

The guys this season are straight up nerds and I feel like the franchise is searching for their next Prince Farming...because there were a lot of country guys this season.  Which Britt was feeling when they were all about her...but as soon as one looked at Kaitlyn, she basically lost it.

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

Of course the dudes were bizarre.  There was Tony who I am going to call the Spiritual Gangsta.  This freak talks to his plants and gives them a kiss and tells them that he loves them before he leaves home.  He described himself as sensitive...but what he forgot to mention was that he also lives in his Mom's basement and enjoys rubbing ointment on her corns.

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We had Ryan who got so hammered he picked a fight with the other men, grabbed Kaitlyn's Booty cheeks and was kicked out of the house before the first rose ceremony.  The grossest part is he spent a lot of time in the pool...and we all know he was peeing in there.

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @bacheloretteABC)

Oh and then one dude drew Kaitlyn a picture of him riding a dinosaur while holding a rose.  That is what we call prison art...

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

 

And then we had a stripper.  He went all Magic Mike when he met the girls.  His stripping wasn't the awkard part though...not seeing Britt pull out a roll of $1's was...

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

There were of course the dudes that were trying to step right in like they were already dating the girls and playing protector mode...which was just weird.  There was even a dude who rolled up in a car filled with water that he called a carpool...which while I enjoy a good pun...it wasn't working.  Especially when he explained his job is as an amateur sex coach.  What does that even mean?!?  I mean, other than him wearing a trench coat outside of na-na stores?!?

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

We also need to talk about how there are three dudes there from Nashville...THREE!  Where the heck is the Memphis representation.  One named Chris got a good showing because he showed up in a cupcake car and said since he is a dentist he never advises sugar...but that this time he will.  And then he flashed his pearly whites.

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

We had a lot of fake careers again and drinks that were drunk and of couse Chris Harrison left us on the edge of our seats and we have to watch tonight to see who is chosen as the Bachelorette...but spoiler alert...it is Kaitlyn.  So be prepared for a lot of pretty crying from Britt, not because she was looking for real love but because her 15 minutes of fame just ended.

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(Image courtesy of Twitter.com @BacheloretteABC)

 

 

 

The first pic of Justin TImberlake's son...and he is the cutest little Grizzly ever.  Last night JT posted a pic of wifey and the baby and while they were not at the grizz game in person, they should off their pride with Baby Silas in a Memphis Grizzlies TShirt. I'm taking bets his first words are Whoop that Trick! 

Miley Cyrus is trashy...or lazy...or a little bit of both because homegirl has some of the hairiest armpits that I have ever seen.  Check the picture she posted over the weekend...yikes...I get the heebie jeebies everytime I see it...well we know she is still in a relationship bc these are not the pits of a single lady.  She could braid her all natural hair at this point...Miley is going to have to use a tractor instead of a razor to harvest that crop. 

Harry Styles is a real rocker now...because he has a sick thigh tattoo.  Over the weekend Chelsea Handler posted a pic of her hanging with Harry...but nobody cared about that...all we could focus on was the fact that he now has a massive thigh tattoo...now we can't make out clearly what it is...but my guess is it is a Michael Jackson commemorative or a dragon...just because... 

Lady Gaga could end up on cops...well, not really because the show has been cancelled...but she did have a run in with the law...for loitering.  BUM BUM BUM!  So she took too long getting dropped curbside at a restaurant and got hit with a citation.  So let this be a lesson to you kids out there, stay in school, say no to drugs...and the biggest one...don't loiter if you want to be an upstanding citizen.

Here is the difference in my arm just one week out from my Aqualipo Procedure.  Swelling will continute to go down...but don't they look amazing?!?

Huge thanks to NuBody Concepts of Memphis for doing such a stellar job and at the 6 week mark I will share more pics!  If you want to book a consultation, it is free and you get $500 off your procedure if you mention me, Liz.  Their website is NubodyConcepts.com 

Can you smell what the rock is singing?!? because Dwayne Johnson announced yesterday that he will be starring in a Disney animated film out next year where he will play a character named Mauiu and the whole thing is a musical...not only will he do his own stunts...but he will also be singing his own songs.

Avril Lavigne's mystery illness has been revealed...Lyme Disease.  She did an interview with People magazine where she let everyone know that she was bedridden for 5 months and it all stemmed from a mosquito bite that she received on Tour...she said that her illness is what led to rumors that her husband Chad Kroger was cheating on her but it was just that she couldn't get out with him.

The Kardashians just got a new show...excuse me while I go toss my cookies...because it is official, E has signed the paperwork for a spinoff show called Dash Dolls that will follow employees in their store.  It debuts in the fall and also means that the family with the least talent in Hollywood will make even more money while still doing nothing because they will get a large cut of the series by association.  BTW...you can't see me...but I'm rolling my eyes right now...

Today is a sad day in America for Twilight fans...because Edward is off the market.  Robert Pattinson is officially engaged to FKA Twigs.  His friend TPain let the cat out of the bag in an interview with Vulture...now he tried to play it off as an April Fool's Joke...but after reaching out to sources...it turns out it is in fact true.  Good luck to the happy lovebirds and at least he didn't wind up with Kristin Stewart.

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